Power is Just Influence

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.”—Alice Walker, Author

In 1993 I was sitting in a classroom at Carl Sandburg College. In 2010, I was sitting in the president’s chair. Same college, same building, many of the same people, completely different context. It felt surreal. I was pinching myself… I was the first female president of Carl Sandburg College. I can remember it like it was yesterday that I bursting with excitement, over the top thrilled already with a list of goals.

Simultaneously to all of that, I was also holding a boat load of anxiety. So many hopes and dreams for this college that held an extra special place in my heart and for our students. But perhaps the most important aspect to all of this is I got to lead the institution with many of the same colleagues I had worked with over the last 15+ years who I knew cared as much as I did about the college.

What I hadn’t planned for was how much the weight of the president’s chair would change everything—even the furniture. The furniture in the president’s office is not unlike any other CEO’s office. It contains, of course, the president’s desk, credenza and chair, but my new office also contained two loveseats and one chair for guests. The office had a conference room attached, but if the meeting was just with four or fewer people we always met in the office. It felt more intimate and less formal. But, inevitably the first person to arrive for a meeting always made a beeline for the chair. It felt to me that nobody seemed to like to sit on those loveseats. Everyone always just seemed a bit uncomfortable. I had observed this countless times over the years and I had made a mental note that if I were ever lucky enough to be in the top job, I would change the furniture. In my view, getting people comfortable was the first step toward generating meaningful and authentic discussions. And it just felt like the conversations we had there were always a bit stifled.

My first week on the job, I ordered four new chairs. I had two side tables for papers and drinks. All of it was delivered the following week and I felt good about my choices. It looked great and I thought it created the ideal setting to have the kinds of conversations that were important. You can only imagine my surprise, when I had the first meeting in my office with the new furniture and people seemed ill at ease. You know the signs…people with their nervous habits like fidgeting, nail picking, looking at the paperwork they brought or worse yet their phones. And they weren’t saying much…they seemed to be waiting for me to talk. Despite everyone having their own chair, there was still discomfort. I made a mental note that I needed to rethink the arrangement. It apparently still wasn’t flowing how I would like. So, later that week, I changed the arrangement. And again, when the next meeting occurred, the same thing happened. I couldn’t figure it out. This continued for a couple of weeks. Finally, my marketing director who had been a close friend and colleague to me since I started at the college came in and said,

“What is with all of the furniture rearranging? I really don’t like this new arrangement, it looks like we’re going to have séance. She said only half joking.”

“Really, what is up?”  she asked.

I just don’t know.” I replied, “The feng shui is just not right in this office. I can’t figure it out. I’m trying different arrangements to get the right vibe.”  As I looked at the circle of chairs, I realized she was probably right. It did look like we were going to have a séance.

“So, how do you know the feng shui is off, she asked looking a bit puzzled.

I think I actually rolled my eyes, but I replied saying rather exasperatedly,

“Because everybody who comes in here looks like they are uncomfortable!”

“Well, she said laughing, I can tell you what is up with that…. It’s got nothing to do with the furniture. It’s you.

“What do you mean, it’s me?”  I replied, somewhat shocked.

“People are not uncomfortable because of the furniture or the feng shui it’s because you’re now the president.” She said pretty confidently.

I looked at her and said, “I’ve worked with these people for the last 15 years. They know me. You’re really suggesting people are not comfortable with me just because I’ve changed jobs?”

“Absolutely,” she said without any hesitation. You’re now the big boss.” 

My initial reaction was that I was annoyed. Of course she was wrong. It couldn’t be me. These were my people. But I continued to ruminate on her comment the rest of the day.  And despite my desire for her not to be right, later that day I found myself embarrassed….how could I have been so oblivious? Of course she was right, it wasn’t the layout or the type of furniture…it was the power dynamic that the office created. My colleagues and friends who once felt completely at ease around me now felt like they were being called to the principal’s office. Which had been the same thing I had witnessed with two other presidents, but because I reported directly to the president, I never had quite that same reaction going to the president’s office. I was always in the president’s office. He was my direct boss. I worked with him every day. I didn’t experience the president’s office quite in the same way as others did. While I certainly understood the power dynamic in coming to a meeting with the president, I had gotten a bit desensitized over the years and I mistakenly thought because it was me now as the president, it would somehow be different. I had completely misjudged the situation. I learned a valuable lesson….the power of a big position and its title exists regardless of who is in it.

As I continued to reflect on the situation, it occurred to me that maybe I was bit uncomfortable, too. All of these people had been my colleagues one day and the next day, they were my employees. The bigger question now going through my mind was “Am I as comfortable as I should be with my new found power?  The answer was maybe not as much as I thought I was. This begs the bigger question that I, along with other women, face, “What is it about power for women that is so difficult for us to embrace and find our comfort and confidence?” It seems while there are a handful women who want to grab and wield power, but the vast majority of us want to avoid embracing it.